Your First Session

Now you have been matched with and met your mentee, you are ready for your first meeting.

It is worth pointing out that both you and your mentee will be feeling a little apprehensive which is absolutely normal. It can often take a few sessions for you to relax in each other’s company, so do allow your mentee time to feel comfortable.

Logistics

You should have a copy of your mentee’s timetable - if you don’t, please ask.

The school will have provided guidance at the launch as to the best times and days for your sessions, please do ask if you need more clarity. They will also provide a suitable location of the mentoring session.

The school will have your contact details (work email and mobile) so in theory, you should be called on the day to let you know if your mentee is not in school.  HOWEVER, schools are very busy places and the chances of a message getting to you are very small.  The surest way to avoid a wasted journey is for you to call the school on the day of your meeting to check that your mentee is in.

Of course, if you can’t make an arranged meeting, please let the school coordinator know as soon as you can and arrange another date.  An explanation to be given to your mentee always helps as well - part of your role is to be reliable.

Depending on the arrangements within your school - you may be emailing the coordinator at the end of each session or notifying reception at the end of each meeting of the date and time for the next meeting.

Topics to get the conversation started

Some topics that may help get the conversation started:

• What are your favourite subjects and why?
• What is it about those subjects that you don’t like?  Why don’t you like them?
• What help do you want from mentoring?
• Do you know what you want to do after GCSEs (expect ‘not sure’ and ‘don’t know’)
• What do you do outside of school? Hobbies, pets, friends, TV, computer games.

Do remember that the conversation will not always flow, and often it can appear that your mentee may not be listening: they will be taking in more than you think.

Click on these SATRO resources which may help:

• Student preferences - click here
• Student - How I feel about myself - click here
• Student Skills Scoring Grid - click here

Sometimes, a conversation about what sort of learner a mentee is can help frame discussion.  Here is a link to a downloadable quiz.

How to build the relationship

Tips for Building a Mentoring Relationship

• Have realistic goals and expectations, focus on the mentee.
• Your early efforts should just be on developing rapport.
• Don’t be afraid to use humour.
• Let your mentee take the lead in choosing what to discuss. This demonstrates trust.
• Be positive and encouraging.
• Listen, actively.
• Don’t be judgemental.
• Respect the trust your mentee is placing in you. Show them that you are committed to the relationship.
• Be a professional friend, don’t be a parent or authority figure.
• Remember that you are responsible for building the relationship.  Don’t be discouraged if your mentee seems uncommunicative at first.  They are teenagers and will be nervous (even if they are showing bravado).

Tips for success

Each mentoring relationship will be different and depend upon the personalities involved, but all successful relationship will involve:

• Listening and remembering.  Do make notes if it helps you remember details of your conversations.  You can do this after the session or at the time (judiciously though writing everything down can be off-putting for your mentee).  It really shows that you have listened if you don’t keep asking the same questions every session and can remember the name of their dog., for example. 
• Challenge your mentee ask why they hate maths, don’t want to revise, haven’t got any thoughts about next steps.  Do expect a lot of ‘don’t know’ responses.  This might explain why your mentee has been asked to get involved with this programme.
• Be reliable (see logistics). If you say that you will do something / look something up for them do so. If you can’t find the answer, ask your mentoring programme manager.
• Remember how it was to feel that age with all the changes and uncertainties.
• Be respectful if they don’t want to continue with a topic and don’t force the issue.  If they want to talk about a subject they will do, if not now then at a later stage.
• Be yourself!

Ending the Relationship

Most of our mentoring relationships last for one year.  Some go on for longer, maybe from year 10 to year 11.  All will end when the students start their GCSE exams. 

It is good to think about your final meeting and what you may want to discuss with your mentee.  Closing the relationship positively and reflectively is important for both of you.

You may want to think about the following:

• What have you achieved together?  What has your mentee learned?  What have you gained from talking to them?  Is there anything that could have been done better?
• The future.  What are their next steps?  Consider how what they have learned will help them in the future.
• Appreciation. You will have both gained something from the relationship - it is important to recognise and celebrate this.  Saying 'thank you' is key.

Safeguarding

The relationship that you have with your mentee is confidential unless you believe them to be at risk, or there is a safeguarding issue.  Your mentee will know this as well.

RESPONDING TO DISCLOSURE

What to do if your mentee talks to you about (or you suspect) abuse

• Stay calm and listen carefully to what is said.
• Do not promise to keep secrets,  you are obliged to share information with designated people if someone is at risk.
• Allow the mentee to continue at their own pace.
• You can ask questions, but only for clarification. Don’t ask leading questions (those that suggest the answer). You are noting what you’ve been told,  not investigating.
• Reassure your mentee that they have done the right thing in telling you. Tell them what you are going to do next, and who you are going to share the information with.
• Tell the school’s designated safeguarding lead (DSL) immediately. If the disclosure relates to the DSL, inform SATRO’s safeguarding lead.
• Record in writing what was said, using the mentee’s own words, with a note of the date and time. Record the details of the person to whom the report was made. Sign this note.

Let SATRO know that this has happened.  We do not need to know details of the disclosure, only the fact that it was made.

Click here to access a copy of the training that you underwent.

Click here for SATRO's Safeguarding Policy

Any Questions - Please email us